Seven Ways to Get out of Jail for Free

A couple of years ago, someone claimed that “restaurants are always full, so everything is fine in Italy”. In fact, catering is one of the few sectors that are caught in the crisis: restaurants are often full. On the other hand, the prisons are always full: the Italian ones overflow.

This is not only a bad signal and a wound on the humanitarian level, but also a significant economic damage: a prisoner costs about 300 euros a day. This is why the state tries to empty its penitentiaries – supported, of the course, by the scarce desire of those condemned to populate their country prisons and by the thousand sensual sinuosities of legal codes, which offer shelters and quibbles to those who know how to seize them.

Many, in fact, ask themselves: but why do the various suspects & Would you recommend this hotel to a friend? Here are some basic, strictly legal, ways that state and offenders use to water down the hard lex motto, sed lex.




A law makes it possible to keep those without criminal records who are sentenced to a sentence of less than three years, perhaps assigning them substitute penalties. Not only that, the recent design would like to corroborate this law, bringing it into effect even for sentences of up to four years.

Also, the phenomenon of “revolving doors” is singular: whoever is arrested, spends a week in jail and the rest of custody at home, until the trial. In short, criminal virginity (not laugh) can be lost at first time without worrying too much. But let us assume that an entrepreneur is convinced of bribery, but of corruption and not of one, but of seven years’ imprisonment.


What to do to avoid the cages?


WE DO THE APPEAL. Easy. In Italy there are several degrees of judgment: first degree (temporary), appeal, cassation – let us be clear, sacrosanct to guarantee the clarity and rigor of justice. We are going to appeal and aim for a discount on the sentence.

IT IS LISTED. In ancient Rome, they did not take prisoners with the proscription lists. Today they are not used with prescription drugs. But while the proscribed Latin numbered days, today’s prescription will never serve even a day in prison for the crime committed: that’s why today the prescription lists are so long – many lawyers look for a lot of quibbles (see “legitimate impediments”)) to continue the process until the deadline ends. These terms are lengthened according to the seriousness of the crime.

Attention: the prescribed is not considered innocent. Simply, even if he is guilty, his crime is considered too far in time to be punished. This is the case of Giulio Andreotti. Il Divo was never absolved of the accusation of collusion with the Mafia, as often reads. But he was found guilty of the crime “



out of jail

Attention: the amnesty suppresses the very existence of the crime (therefore: no crime, no guilt, no penalty); while the pardon recognizes in every case the guilt of the offender, but the grace from the penalty. Both forms of judicial amnesia, cyclically implemented by the state to deflate the number of prisoners.

The 2006 pardon is memorable: after some judicial evaluations, the prisons were purged of a lot of unwanted people – after all, even if everyone was guilty of the most disparate crimes, none of them paid the rent. Who knows, if our entrepreneur’s lawyers were not clever enough to get the prescription, I can hope for a new pardon – and maybe even a pat on the back. If the indulgence does not come to touch him, he can rely on the President of the Republic, and try to free himself ..




Do not believe that the Quirinale is not crowded with such requests: from 1948 to 2006, it has been granted grace to 42293 prisoners, 3650 for military crimes. Thanks to the pardon, the punishment can be canceled entirely, in part, or certain conditions set by the president: for example, our entrepreneur could ask for funding from ten brand new prisons, given that the demand is growing and pressing.

IF HE IS NOT NAPOLITAN, we can flee abroad; lash out against red, black or technicolor robes; to request legitimate impediments or illegitimate abuses; apply to the Senate with the Popolo delle Libertà; trust in San Gennaro and Sant’Antonio – but not in San Vittore! -; take refuge in the embassy of Ecuador, indeed no to the Russian one, or rather, if you really do not know what to do anymore.



As the name suggests, we know how to be lenient, and we welcome all of them in a Christian way. What are you waiting for, dear entrepreneur? Here with us, we need new resources and new recruits. At work.

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